Confuzi Said: "So this one time at band camp, I meditated forty days and forty nights underneath the Latin homework of some kid from Massachusetts, and thereupon recieved the secrets of heaven and earth."

Confuzi (BC 551-479) was an ancient Chinese philosopher who contributed several minor arguments to the corpus of Chinese thought. Although he never achieved the fame of his cousin Confucius, Confuzi was a good friend and drinking buddy of Socrate.